it's been a while.....

well, due to popular demand...i'm back. i'm house sitting in redlands right now, and whenever that happens, i always seem to think a lot. i've been kinda down lately, but i always remember, there are plenty of other people out there who are worse off than me, so yeah, i'll be fine. well, hmmm, what's new?... well, paris and i are now officially history. we parted ways on friday due to, well, growing apart, me needing something and him not really taking the measures to provide it. we were just at two places in life i guess. i hope he does well, and i will miss him, but i dunno, i guess that's just how the cookie crumbles. i want a guy, no, i want a man. i don't want a boyfriend, i want a someone who isn't into games and just is a decent person. oh well, a boy can um....i had a lot of fun on friday, before that. my best friend at work, elaine, and i went to get manicures after work. actually i got one, she got her nails done. then we went to the mexico to eat. it was soooooo damn good!!!! mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. see, i need more times like that, just nice, carefree, and fun. no drama. i think i like hanging out with my girl friends more than the boys, with the exception of kyle and marcus, my right hand i'm just thinking a lot right now, and yeah, it's weird, but as always i'll bounce back and be my happy goofy well i miss you all, and i'll update later. muah!!!

i hate the i.e.

yeah, it's me again. and yes, again i'm bitching about how life is soooo unfair to me. anyways, i've come to the decision that i hate living in the inland empire. i love my apartment, the land itself has done nothing to me, but i'm just tired of all these fucking idiotic, closed minded people that surround me. i'm tired of not being thought of as attractive because i didn't step out of an abercrombie ad. i'm also tired of seeing my friends get hit on time after time and have me just sitting there like, " um ok....does anyone wanna talk to me?" i dunno, i'm just in a funk i guess. i guess i can't really say it's because i'm black because my friends are too. so i guess that just leaves me to think that i'm just ugly. it sucks, it's sad, but i guess i can accept the fact. maybe i need to just move to somewhere where someone will actually be attracted to me, cos obviously socal is a bit too plastic for me, and i'm just not plastic enough. anyways, that's it, i'm finished with my bitching. i'm out till later.
  • Current Mood
    irritated irritated

what happened next, guess what? you don't wanna know.....

oh lordy, what a week this has been. i have been partying, getting no sleep, and working like crazy. all that is not a good combination for my body. in fact, my body has kinda been rebelling against i've been pushing it to work on as little as 2 hours of sleep, and then work 8 hours the next it's like it's been saying, "hey fucker!! i need to relax, so i'm gonna shut down so you can't do anything" hehe, so shut down it did. i slept a bunch yesterday, even though i went out, more on that later. but i slept a bunch today and am preparing to sleep some more. anyways, i have adopted a new friend!!! marcus. marcus is freakin' great!!! he's black, like me, he likes to dance, like me, and he also likes to clown on random people in public settings....just like me!!!! we've been going to the club a bunch and it's just been fun. i've been hanging out with kyle a lot too, so yeah ,it's been a really fun and healthy experience to say the least. even though i was kinda down the other day. kyle, marcus and i went to denny's after the club. i don't know what it is, but i just cant' get hit on at that place, i don't get it. kyle gets hit on, marcus gets hit on, and i'm just standing there. kyle says it's cos i give people evil looks, i dont' think i do, but i have been told i'm intimidating, and unapproachable. oh well, life goes on i guess. i just have to keep repeating , "you're not ugly, you're just not these guys' type, there's nothing wrong with you". see, i feel better anywho, i hung out with this guy from palm springs last night. totally cute guy, and he's white, now you know he has to be cute if i'm feeling a white ok, hold up that came out wrong, i have nothing against dating white guys, it's just that that's all i used to date, so i've been giving them a rest lately, i think i got burned out at an early anyways, we went to hunters, which is this club in palm springs, and hung out there, had some drinks, whatever. then went back to his place, and well....hmmm, i don't kiss and but nothing serious happened. i had fun though, and he wants to go to the movies sometime. he's a pro golfer, not exactly anything i know about , but oh well, he's cool. i've been missing jason, amber and mom lately a lot!!! and my mom called me today and that made me miss her too!!! i'm still contemplating going to florida. it's just weird, like i'm making a bunch of new friends here, but i'm missing the florida bunch, who knows? i just don't , i'll figure it out though, everything happens for a reason. and omg, i've been having sooo much fun by not shopping and mix and matching the clothes i already own into new ensembles!!!! i know, i'm such a freakin' prissy bitch, but ya know what? that's just me, live it, learn it, love anyways guys, i'm out now, i need some rest. and gearing up for another fun week in the life of yours
  • Current Music
    once again..."early morning" - b.spears

cinderella's got to go......

hehe. cheesy i know. but you know what? this little britney spears ditty sums up everything that happened this week between paris and i. last night, on my way out to the club to hang out with amber "yay she's back from florida to visit" davis!!!! we haven't exactly been on the up and ups this week anyways, and last night was just the straw that broke the camel's back. i really do like the boy, he's the only boy i've ever been emotionally attached to. it's going to hurt a little while, but hey, you gotta get over stuff. it's been 3 months ,and i've barely seen him. in fact, it's only been twice. not to mention he would get so jealous if i went out with my friends, or said hi to someone while he was on the phone, or not talk to him all nite long. when i'm dating someone, i give them attention, but i've never been one to stop my life for a man. and i have, am not, and will never been anyone who chooses a guy over my long time friends. it's just not me. so last night he was supposed to be coming down with his friend. well, he didn't even call me at all for 2 hours, then all of a sudden he calls. apparently they had a blow out, and her spare had no air in it. so he went back home in a pissy mood. so he's all, "i'm sorry, i wanted to see you, and you could be out with your friends right now, but you had to wait for me...go with your friends, you need to see them, she's only in town a couple of days." so eventually i was like...ok. so then he cops an attitude. so i'm driving and then he calls back and is like, "where are you?" and i'm all, driving. and he's like, uummmm, ok then i will talk to you next week. i'm like, next week?!!! so then he goes into this huge thing about how he was "testing" me to see who i would choose, my friends or him. and i'm like, fuck this , this is retarded. i'm not a child, i'm not in school, and no one runs me. you're not supposed to test people in a relationship. you're supposed to trust them and communicate effectively with them. and yeah, so we're talking and he's basically going on about how don't put him first yada yada yada. i'm like, i never go out, i have been lately cos of my friends, i just turned 21, and the last 3 months of my life have dedicated to him. i've been a perfect fucking boyfriend, and i'm no one's going to make me believe that i'm not. he just has issues with his ex boyfriends and compares me to them, which i am not, i am me. so he ended up saying something like, i might call you next week, maybe not, so i'm like, no fuck this. i can't make you love me, i can't please you, nothing that i do is enough, and you'll never be satisfied. if we were going to end this, i at least wanted to be friends and that's not good enough for you, so i wish you luck in life, god bless you, and take care. then i hung up. end of that. it was weird, i almost cried, but something just wouldn't let me. then i got to the club to see all my friends i haven't seen in forever. and some i'd never met. well, one of holly's friends was there, she is so adorable, a cute lil black chick. and oh my freakin' goodness. we were dancing ,and the dance floor actually cleared just to watch us. then, it was so hot, and i didn't want to stop dancing, so i, yes, dontavius brooks, lil shy me, decides to flip my shirt behind my back, so my stomach and chest and everything are showing. i've never done that, i've never been the , "hey let's take my shirt off so everyone can see" kinda guy. but i guess i am now. and besides, it wasn't for show, it was for heat disspating but yeah, then we all went back to denny's and amber's asleep on my couch right now. i woke up and felt like "early morning" lol. cos i got four hours of sleep the night before, then was out till 4:30 last night. but it's all good. it's all for amber ,and i can't wait to spend more time with her. so yeah, paris and i are over, but i do feel kind of relieve. i mean, god knows what he's doing and never lets anything happen that's not supposed to. so i'm putting my faith in him, like always to steer me in the right direction. and as fun as last night was, i couldn't help but put everything aside and just enjoy life. it's too short to be depressed over something. and what happened was not my fault, just two people with two different paths in life. i'll miss him, but i also need someone who trusts me, and a little less overprotective. anyways, sorry for making you read all this. just needed to take care everyone and until next time......*mwah*!!!

"i was taught not to run away,
cos raindrops will always fall on my face
when it seems like all hope is gone....
gotta get through the storm , before you can see the dawn
this is all i am, this is all i know
and i won't never , ever let go
no i won't let go"

"i'm sorry just trying to live my life,
don't worry, you're gonna be alright
but cinderella's got to go...
  • Current Music
    "cinderella" - b. spears

see, i was born to be a recording artist!!! haha

Extroverted (E) 55% Introverted (I) 45%
Imaginative (N) 59.46% Realistic (S) 40.54%
Emotional (F) 60.53% Intellectual (T) 39.47%
Easygoing (P) 60.53% Organized (J) 39.47%
Your type is: ENFP
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<div align="center"><!--55 59.46 60.53 60.53--> <table style="color: black; background: #eeeeee" border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0"> <tr> <td> <div align="center"> <table style="color: black; background: #dddddd" border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0"> <tr> <td> <div align="center"> Extroverted (E) 55% Introverted (I) 45%<br> Imaginative (N) 59.46% Realistic (S) 40.54%<br> Emotional (F) 60.53% Intellectual (T) 39.47%<br> Easygoing (P) 60.53% Organized (J) 39.47%<br> </div> </td> </tr> </table> <table style="color: black; background: #eeeeee" border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0"> <tr> <td> <div align="center"> Your type is: <b><font size="+3">ENFP</font></b><br> </div> </td> </tr> </table> <table style="color: black; background: #dddddd" border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" width="100%"> <tr> <td width="280quot;>> <div align="left"> You are an Inspirer, possible professions include - conference planner, speech pathologist, HR development trainer, ombudsman, clergy, journalist, newscaster, career counselor, housing director, character actor, marketing consultant, musician/composer, artist, information-graphics designer, human resource manager, merchandise planner, advertising account manager, dietitian/nutritionist, speech pathologist, massage therapist, editor/art director. </div> </td> </tr> </table> </div> </td> </tr> </table> <a href="">Take Free Career Inventory Personality Test</a><br><font size="1"><a href="">personality tests by</a></font></div>
  • Current Music
    "rock superstar"- cypress hill

happy birthday!!!!!!

hey y'all. it's me, i'm just sitting here after a great couple of days!!! well actually, yesterday was ok, i was kinda down, just missing people and such. but last night was sooo fun. there were a few minor setbacks, but once kyle and i got to the club it was great!!!!! they announced my name like crazy, and josie brought her friends, one of them i love!!!!! she's a cute lil black chick from banning no less, and we just danced like crazy. then my good friend johnny, who works there now, bought me a beer. i hate alcohol, but he bought it, and was hovering over me like a hawk, so i drank it, it actually didn't taste as bad as i remember, but yeah. kyle, josie and i were dancing up a storm. actually i didn't see a lot of josie, being that whenever we go out, she always hooks up with someone, not sexually, but you know what i mean. well, yeah, this night was no it's cool though, i love her!!! so yeah, then kyle and i met a couple of cool people, this one gorgeous guy who we always check out, and this guy/drag queen who works there, he's johnny's friend, but soooo cool, i liked him, not like that i got my hair cut, and it looks sooo also, (a highlight of last night) some chick who was competing in the dance idol competition split her pants in the very beginning of her song, AND DIDN'T HAVE ANY UNDERWEAR ON!!! i loved this girl, cos she just kept on dancing and showing so yeah, that was great. but even after the partying was over and the goodbyes were said, something incredible happened when i stepped into my apartment. i checked my voicemail, cos paris had called, but i just returned his call earlier without checking my voicemail. well, he called me at 12:03 to say happy birthday, and then sang this like 4 minute song to me, i think it's called, "happy happy birthday baby" it was the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me!!!! he even switched up the lyrics, instead of, "so happy you're my baby" he sang, "so happy you're my papi" lol. and then he ended the song with my name......i was in love the second i heard that.....well, maybe not love, but extreme like!!! it was just so cool that someone cared enough about me to do that, that was just....oooh...totally amazing!!!! so yeah, then i went to work today, after getting like 3 hours of sleep, and felt completely awake!!! not only that , but when i got to work, everyone had decorated my desk, and gave me presents. xtina even baked me a cake and is dropping off a present this weekend!!! paula gave me my first rose ever!!! it's yellow and in this really cool vase. she also gave me 21 bucks!!! so yeah, i can put gas in my car!!! hehe. and elaine gave me a 25 buck stater's gift card, so i can eat too!!! hehe. and i got a card, and a sticker. i was so happy. omg, last night since i dropped kyle off to get his car and got a haircut, i was pressed for time. well, kyle's car still didn't work, so all of a sudden i didn't have time to go home and change cos i had to get him, so i rushed to the moreno valley mall, 15 minutes before closing ,and bought a pair of 58 dollar express4men . yeah, i'm returning them i had my shirt in my car, but not my jeans, so yeah, i needed a quick oh well, it was well worth it, and yeah, i'm 21 now!!!! i less to get into clubs, go to any casino, go into any club i want, and buy alcohol that my friends will drink and i will not touch......all in all, a good age so far!!!!! hehe. love y'all ..........bye.
  • Current Music
    "happy happy birthday baby" - p. ortiz (my boy!!)

the good and bad of don brooks....

ok, well, hello everyone. it's me again. this week has been pretty cool actually. the weekend was nice and relaxing. monday rocked ass!!! hehe....that's for you j.!! on monday i worked some overtime at the highland facility. so yeah, since it was memorial day, i was getting paid $20 an hour!!! so yeah that as good, even though that money will be soooo gone, like monica, well, like monica from j. records since freakin' clive davis dropped her from the label...*tear* anywho, she's rich, so back to me. yeah, i have major bills coming up, but i trust in god that he'll guide me through and get me on my feet. he always does. lol. yeah, so after work i stopped by rachel and teresa's house, (a.k.a. "the lesbians") it's really their official title. they are so cute, and so in love. i hope i find that someday. yeah, so all day long for some reason i was like, " i reeeeaally wanna go to casino morongo" i never want to go there, but i went , just because you should never avoid intuition. so i went, for like my 3rd time in 3 next thing i know i'm on the phone with j. and lo and behold i won 93 bucks off 6 bucks!!!! how freakin' cool is that?!! i guess i'm a really lucky person when i think about it. i like to consider it blessed though. well, yesterday was cool, i watched "the simple life" dvd that i bought, and yes, that is my new favorite dvd!!! i'm lovin' it. it gives me that same feeling that i get after watching "clueless" or "batman returns", and everyone knows those are my two favorite movies of all time!!! hehe. so yeah, it's funny, i hope i didn't wake my neighbors laughing so much last night. well, i went and applied at a bunch of places in the mall yesterday, so that was cool. well i actually only got applications, but i'm turning them in on friday. today was ok, nothing too good, nothing too bad, but i am a lil saddened. yesterday i called lisa, a girl and really good friend i used to work with to tell her that she's invited to my birthday dinner on friday at t.g.i. friday's. so she picks up and i'm all, "hey it's don!!!" and she's all, "heeeey, i'm gonna have to call you back" all bitchy and sarcastic. then she calls back ,and i tell her that she's invited, and she's all, " oh yeah it is that time isn't it?" and said that i didn't have a car for a while and i've been working tons of overtime , but i still have her aerosmith cd i bought her like a month and a half ago for her going away party. and she's all, " oh, well i already bought it since i never heard from you or anything" she didn't sound the same, she sounded, like, bitchy and sarcastic, like she was doing a favor for me by talking to her. it's like when someone gets promoted and they talk down to you, or make it appear that they think they're better than you. that's the vibe i was getting. so the last thing she said was, "well happy b day ....if i don't see you by then" i'm like, ok, i'm the king of fake, and that was fake!!!! so yeah, that was a bit disappointing. but oh well, people are people. and also, i think i'm going to end up cancelling my birthday dinner, cos everyone seems to have "something else" to do, it's sad. like, i know that people have other plans and stuff, but i don't know, i guess since i never really do anything that stays concrete, i'm just used to dropping what i'm doing and doing stuff for other people. so i dunno, i don't want to be the only one at my birthday dinner, so i think i'm just going to cancel it altogether. i'm still stoked about the club tomorrow night though, that should be fun!!! i'm just hoping that people show up to that....geez, i really don't have many friends do i? hehe, oh well, i don't care if i'm the only person dancing there, i'm gonna have fun on my 21st birthday, it's mine, i'm special, and dammit, i'm worth it!!! hehe. so anyways, yes, that is the good and bad of don brooks......week
  • Current Music
    "star"- tamyra gray

fucking are sooo stupid.......

why is it that everyone has an opinion about me and how i should live my life? i'm like, i work my ass off, pay for everything, and now i'm looking for a second job and it seems that i have a bunch of people saying shit to me? i'm not here to please people, i'm here to survive for myself. i've just come to the conclusion that men are fucking idiots. i know, i know, i am one of them, i know, i just think that i'm one of the few normal ones. this guy i'm talking to says , i'm not making enough money because, "i don't want to make enough money". oh , i'm soo fucking sorry that everytime my boss calls and says, "don can you work..." that i'm there. that i fucking haven't had a 2 day weekend in a month, and that i've been pulling 12 hour shifts 2 days every week for the last 3 weeks. i can't force people to give me a raise or anything. so tonight i'm going at 1am to see if i want to throw newspapers. cos right now it's extra money, money that i need. i'm also applying at denny's for an evening position. then i'm trying to be a friend to this guy who just moved down here, and i've been seriously broke the past week, cos i just put my whole paycheck down on a car. so i haven't had the luxury of going out and hanging with him. so last night he's all, hey let's hang out tomorrow, so i'm like ok. so i brought my car to the dealership and i text him saying hey, i'll be home at 7, you can meet me there if you want. cos he wanted to go to a club. then he flips out and says he's tired of begging to hang out with me, and that i have too many excuses. any of you guys who know me knows that i don't stand for anyone telling me off for no apparent reason, so i'm like, " call inland auto center, say you're don brooks and you want to know if your maroon nissan sentra is ready yet." then i gave him the number to call, then he's all, thats ok, i'm just tired of these games. so i'm like, men are fucking idiots, i'm tired of their opinions of me, and unless someone's gonna give me money or help me pay my bills, i don't need a course on how to run my life. anyways, for those of you who aren't pissing me off, i miss you, love you and hope to see you i'm over
  • Current Music
    "my life"- TLC